This is beautiful
ainulindale or valaquenta or quenta silmarillion or akallabêth
two lamps or two trees or sun and moon
valinor or middle-earth
elves or men or dwarves
sindar or teleri or noldor or vanyar
fëanor or fingolfin or finarfin
gondolin or doriath or nargothrond
haladin or bëorians or hadorians
orcs or balrogs or dragons ALL OF THEM I DO WHAT I WANT
thuringwethil or melian or sauron
andreth/aegnor or beren/lúthien or tuor/idril
túrin or niënor or beleg or finduilas
lúthien or dior or elwing
maedhros or fingon or finrod felagund
Name: The Dark Muse a.k.a. Mairon, Sauron, Gorthaur, Ñorthus, Thû. The DM is also a convenient designation for the driven-creative-ambitious-arrogant-calculating-controlling-worship-me-NOW-fools! component of pandemonium_213's overblown ego.
Age: A timeless archetype in fiction; practically as old as Eä in the source texts, but merely tens of thousands of years old in the Pandë!verse.
Height: About 5 feet tall in his juvenile form (cf. Light Over the Mountain — his original species was taller on average than ours); about 6’3 or so in human (mortal or elvish, depending) corporeal form (which he favors; cf. Letter 200 in The Letters of JRR Tolkien, ed. H. Carpenter) throughout the First and Second Ages but with the ability to create an illusion that he is far taller (Pandë!Ainur readily tap into human capacity for magical thinking). Literally taller (as in ~ 7 feet) during the Third Age, due to flaws in his ability to control his hapless host’s body, which he subsumed through the art of necromancy. Back to 6 feet and coupla inches as Professor M. Saunders Rosen.
Eye Color: yellow-orange as a juvenile; pale grey-blue or dark brown, depending on his human form, but with the ability to create the illusion of fiery eyes.
Hair Color: Very dark brown, close to black.
Sexual Orientation (and more): Boring-as-hell vanilla, in part because his gaoler decided to swim against the current of popular trends at the time she entered fan fiction, but also to illustrate that Evil™ does not seduce by stunning beauty and smokin’-hot kink alone nor does Evil necessarily manifest in black-robed sorcerers who cackle, rub their long-nailed hands together, and enunciate like a Grade B movie villain. Evil can seduce by physical means, no doubt about that (*looks at the many pretty Saurons/Annatars in fandom*), but one of its most insidious means of seduction is through charisma and intelligence. Evil often disguises itself within the normative mainstream, i.e., the likeable, upstanding guy who walks the dog in his upscale neighborhood, goes to his kids’ soccer games, then drives his black late model Mercedes to his job that destroys many lives, either figuratively or literally. All the while, this fellow convinces himself he is doing the right thing. Some actions may be regrettable, but they are always necessary.
Species: I suppose Homo maiarensis is a reasonable approximation (just as Octopus sapiens might be an approximation of the Pandë!Valar’s ancient origins >:^)), although his people (including Melian, Eönwë, Olórin, Curumo, and Aiwendil) probably had taxonomic terms for themselves. I doubt that we could pronounce said terms.
Nationality: Any and all, as might be expected for a God-King who strives for world order.
Positive Weaknesses (like tickling or cuddling): Uh…”tickling and cuddling”? Not in Mordor. The Muse’s positive weakness is his particular brand of strategic thinking: gets a lot accomplished, but the collaborative component of his methods can be painful to others.
Allergies: Woobification spores and Peter Jackson’s image of him as a giant lighthouse. The former set him into a bout of sneezing. The latter triggers anaphylaxis.
Fears: Loss of control.
How sickly they are: Robust until the Fall of Númenor, but the latter setback wasn’t as profound as the aftermath of that fateful wrestling match with Elendil and Gil-galad on the slopes of Orodruin. Ouch.
How often do they hurt themselves: Never.
Relationship Status: Currently held captive in the brain of a post-menopausal woman, who happened to catch a short respite from her work-related writing to complete this m-type thing that she started a while back.
NOT EVEN BAROQUE MUSIC? HEATHER YOU’RE KILLING ME :(
ok no you’re right baroque music is flawless
I was talking about those horrible lovecraftian monsters you find in churches and stuff
Jesus fucking Christ dude calm down